Today I’m going to write a poem about bright lights.
It will not be about what the candle flames are burning in order to make themselves brighter.
It will not be about how the last few weeks make my arms numb and my heart clench tighter.
But rather about the bright lights, I used to see
And how they always made me happy.
But rather about the sunniest days
Coming down in beautiful golden rays
Blinding me with comfort and kindness
Like the sunrise kiss
We got from your very presence.
But rather about the feeling of warm, watery caffeine-free tea
Seeing her name written on the StepUp sign-in sheet.
Today I’m going to write a poem about
Not any of the sleepless nights
Or of what I have yet to foresee
That doesn’t mean as much to me.
Couldn’t mean less to me
And yet it took me so long to write this
How could I not write this?
How could it be so hard to reminisce
The feelings that have lingered with me ever since.
I wish that I could write a poem about bright lights
And describe all of their senses
But I really wish I could describe how much I miss Genesis
And how we could light all the candles in the world and it could never come close
How she outshone the sun
And I can’t be the only one
Who feels like we lost the brightest light
To a hauntingly starless night.
A soul-crushing, solidly empty void
Where you used to be.
But eventually, my eyes will adjust to not seeing you and focus on
Healing for you
I’ll remember to acknowledge
The light you left in our hearts when you touched them.
I’ll feel you and your nurturing kindness when the thought of you helps me sleep again.
I’ll hear your beautifully enthusiastic
singing when I regain the strength to dance with it.
Eventually, I’ll see you when I’m able to find the stars from the darkness we kept
And connect every constellation to
Reveal how much of your bright lights
We still have left.