I’m certain that many could eloquently argue over which is the most divisive topic of our time. Politics, artificial intelligence, and social media may come to mind, but I believe I have found the most polarizing subject of all: cereal. Merely asking which factors are most important in cereal enjoyment can get a room boiling with opinions hotter than corn out of the kettle. Or simply thinking — and apparently even more scandalously — suggesting that Rice Krispies are the best cereal, can put generally peaceful people up in arms.
Of course, I must start by declaring that I myself am no cereal expert; I have no qualifications to speak on the matter, and in fact, do not even consider myself a regular cereal consumer. But regardless, I shall use my platform to preach about the cereal that is unquestionably best, which coincidentally also happens to be my favorite cereal. The only correct — and shockingly underrepresented — answer is Rice Krispies. I shall start at the beginning of the Krispie lore.
Rice Krispies are best known for their breakout role, co-starring besides marshmallows in the famous and aptly named Rice Krispie treat; however, their vast range of qualities is often dismissed when faced with other cereals. I would argue that the fabulous crunchy texture, hints of sweetness, and balanced flavor ought to overshadow a simple Cheerio any day, but of course, society is bland and tasteless. Regardless, I was curious about other people’s (wrong) opinions, and decided to inquire about the Franklin community’s thoughts on my favorite cereal. And also I wanted to find out: If not Rice Krispies, what are these people eating?!
“Rice Krispies are pretty good, but they get soggy very quickly,” explained a senior at Franklin, Madeline Diaz. Texture is a huge factor in terms of cereal enjoyment, and for Rice Krispies — which according to Diaz have a short period of time before they get soggy — this is a real problem. “Then you’re just eating mush!” she emphasized. Diaz prefers the square peanut butter Panda Puffs.
Other students found flavor to be especially important when consuming this scrumptious sustenance. Marin Kauffman Smith, another senior at Franklin, specifically discussed how cereal flavors the milk. Frosted Flakes are a far superior option to Rice Krispies according to Kauffman Smith, who argued that Rice Krispies are a no-go. While Frosted Flakes make the milk sweet and “happy,” Rice Krispies are “soggy and not sweet and… sad,” observed Kauffman Smith.
“I’d have to go with Froot Loops, Apple Jacks and Corn Puffs,” stated Jeffrey Anderson, the ceramics teacher at Franklin. Anderson takes into account “mainly texture and taste” when assessing cereal, and it seems clear that those two factors are of critical importance when gobbling this starchy snack.
But still others enjoy their cereal differently. A few wild ones here at Franklin eat their cereal in, shall we say, “interesting” ways. “I think Honey Ohs! are the best and I don’t eat them with milk,” admitted Zola BuhlSmith, a senior at Franklin.
I managed to find one student who shared the same opinion as me. Jordan Nguyen, a Franklin freshman, exclaimed: “The best cereal is Rice Krispies of course!” And I must say I wholeheartedly agree.
After tirelessly searching, and asking truly leading questions of unquestionable journalistic integrity, I finally confirmed the true answer. All it takes is an echo chamber of similar thoughts and like-minded people to conclude that my favorite cereal is indeed the best one.
