Image By Twylo Landey
Feeling sexy is divine. Everyone deserves to embrace and feel powerful in their own sensuality.
Sex is one of the most valued things in our world, and possessing sex appeal brings with it a certain personal power and pleasure. Almost all people want to be desired yet many feel undesirable. This often causes feelings of low self-esteem, insecurity, and unhappiness. Many also believe that one must look or act a certain way to be sexy. This is simply false. Sensuality is a deeply complicated, personal, and wonderful thing; all people deserve to feel sexy. It is time to stop buying into what our oppressive society wants you to believe about what is sexy and take control of your own sensuality. We all deserve the right to embrace and indulge in our own sensualities regardless of what our society tells us. Here, I will guide you into developing a positive and secure relationship with your own sexiness.
Inhabit Your Body
Bodies are a major part of sensuality, and so having a good relationship with your body is essential to being attractive. We live in a culture where messages about what an attractive body looks like are so deeply ingrained into all aspects of our lives, including our minds, that it can be an intense struggle to feel comfortable inhabiting your own body. This must be overcome. Whether you are one of the very few who comes close to the beauty standard or not, it is a total waste of your time to think about how you compare to it. You can’t change yourself into exactly who you want to be, but you can change the way you think. The phrase “confidence is sexy” is true, and so a secure relationship with one’s self is necessary to be attractive. Of course this can be very difficult, however there are many ways to develop a better relationship with yourself and your body. Being deliberate with and aware of the content you consume and the people surrounding you will help. It is impossible to completely control what and to whom you are exposed, but we do have a certain amount of power over what we consume and focus on. Delete social media or unfollow accounts that promote body standards that are unrealistic for the average person. Stop hanging out with people who make you feel bad about how you look. Try to educate or simply ignore those who have not yet been liberated from toxic ideas about bodily aesthetics. Truthfully, you will not overcome your body image issues immediately and so in the meantime, you just have to fake it. Dress in clothes that show off yourself. Take any sort of movement class like dance or yoga to get in touch with your body. Do research about healthy exercise and diet. Dress and exist as if you have the body you want and with time you will realize that you do.
Be Conscious of and Deliberate With Your Scent.
Scent is a powerful sense and can make one both wildly irresistible and intensely repulsive. Body odor is a natural part of being a human and there should be no shame attached to having it, in fact, a lover’s scent can often be quite pleasurable. However, body odor can also be quite unpleasant. Thus, it is important to be conscious of and deliberate with your scent. If people tell you that you smell, trust them and obtain some deodorant. Deodorants are an easy solution to an issue that could be ruining your appeal. Another popular option is the choice to wear perfume or cologne along with a deodorant–this combination can be powerful. When you are attracted to someone, the scent you associate with them reminds you of their presence. This is a big part of the common flirtatious phenomenon of sweatshirt trading. Your scent keeps you on their mind. This is why it is important to have a signature scent. It should be noted however that some scents or an over-use of a scent can have the opposite of the desired effect. Someone should be able to catch your scent as you pass by or embrace, but never should your scent cause an entire room to stink up.
Master the Art of Seduction
Move fluidly, stretch out your arms, lengthen your neck and present your chest. Stroke, braid, or run your fingers through your desired someone’s hair, write words and draw pictures on their back with your finger, lean on their shoulder when you’re next to them, talk slowly and breathily, make sustained eye contact, hold their head in your hands, listen to music that reminds you of stretching out on a bed with the morning sun streaming through the window, drive at night with the windows open and let your hair blow in the wind. They should be entranced by you and view you as some sort of magical creature oozing with sensuality.
Respect Boundaries and Make Sure You Have Consent
All of the aforementioned tips and suggestions are powerful, however none are as important as this rule; all actions which involve others must be consensual. Always remember, flirting should be mutually enjoyed and you should never continue to flirt with a person who does not reciprocate or expresses discomfort. Listen to the words, actions, and body language of the other person(s), and respect boundaries. Not only is consent mandatory, it can also be sexy. Asking for consent before doing something indicates your respect for the person you are with. Flirtatious interactions and relationships between individuals with equal power dynamics and mutual respect are sexy. Remember, always ask before you do anything. Even if you think the other person is enjoying themselves or into you, verbal consent is always necessary. No harm comes from frequently checking in; incredible harm comes from non consensual actions. Always lean on the side of caution and make sure there is communication.
Sensuality is a wildly complex and deeply personal matter, and in the end, mastering the skill of being attractive is something you must figure out for yourself. While the advice I give here has worked for me and many others that I know, it might not work for you. This is okay. There is no single way to be sexy and all people find different things attractive; as they say, there’s no accounting for taste. Your job is simply to figure out what feels good to you. Perhaps these things seem daunting to you, but I promise you that the experience of feeling sexy is worth it. The joy and fulfillment that comes with feeling truly sexy exactly as you are is glorious and brings you pleasure and the best kind of power: secureness in oneself.
