The biggest misconception about feminism is that toxic masculinity only affects women. In the simplest words, toxic masculinity is a box built by men that everyone suffers from. The biggest outlet for this is in the media, and right now, all anyone is talking about is Taylor Swift. After reading that, how did you picture me, the writer? You most likely envisioned a basic teenage girl obsessed with boys and music that all sounds the same. Stereotypes are built, multiplied, and burned into the creases of the subconscious. Men hate women and this causes women to hate women. Barbies are for girls, trucks are for boys; some people don’t even have the courtesy to look into the context, they feel the trope is just fine, the trope is easier. But behind every person, there’s someone with an extremely complex and impressionable mind.
I don’t talk about my love for Taylor’s music in school because it’s not cool or popular. That will always be something that holds me back, whether I want it to or not. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: the fact that women are hated is the unbreakable bond that also holds us together. Sure, you could say that about men, but rather they would be fastened together by the fact that they’re men, not the fact that they are hated by women.
By definition, “popular” means liked, admired, or enjoyed by many people or by a particular person or group. Taylor Swift is popular, but I’m definitely not popular for appreciating her music. In contrast, a man who likes a popular male artist is traditionally praised, making that male artist become the new popular. This is a constant, a normal; it no longer bothers me. What bothers me is that if men didn’t care so much about hating Taylor Swift, women wouldn’t either. It’s all based on the twisted feeling you get when receiving male validation. It’s the very same feeling that roots from when women relied on men for everything, and when they finally gave the bare minimum of respect back, it was revolutionary. The other day I was talking with a friend of mine, and I brought up the fact that I was going to see the Eras Tour movie. He immediately started laughing and making fun of Taylor and her music. The worst part was, I went along with it. I didn’t stick up for myself, in fear that he would think I was one of those crazy Taylor Swift fans. So, I laughed with him, agreeing with his theories and feeling awful about myself.
Emily McDonald Ford, a fitness coach at Orangetheory, has been a Taylor Swift fan since 2007, when she heard the song “Tim McGraw,”a record off Swift’s debut album, on the radio. “Every once in a while, I’ll talk to someone, and they’re like, ‘oh of course you’re a Taylor Swift fan,’ because I’m a 20-something white girl.” She explained that she “know[s] so many people that have different gender identities, and also, different ages and different backgrounds … that [all] love her. But at the same time, [she] feel[s] like the stereotype still comes up.” In our conversation, we talked a lot about women in the media and the constant comparison to each other. Additionally, it’s not like that for male artists. “I studied social science in college, and there’s so many dichotomies and [aspects] that people want to put against each other. Because it’s natural to be like, ‘Oh, well which thing is better?’ Or like, ‘which person is better?’ And there doesn’t need to be a concrete answer.”
My idea for this article sprouted because of a clip on TikTok from the show “Breakfast Entertainment.” It was two men — with about four more in the background — reacting to a woman screaming the lyrics to a song at the Eras Tour. After the video was shown to them, they sat in comical silence, making disappointed and concerned faces, earning laughter from the men around them. We could tap into how much concert etiquette has changed in the last three years because of COVID-19, but you can clearly see what this is really about. A “crazy” woman acting “awful” and “cringey” at a concert where all the music sounds exactly the same. Has there ever been an all-women talk show that reacted like this to a clip of a man mooning the audience when his favorite team won? If they did react, they’d probably be laughing and saying it was just a funny prank rather than one of the worst examples of etiquette. That’s it, right there. That tiny twist in reaction represents the intricate web of women in the media. From the women that are beloved and agree with everything shoved at them, all the way to the women who are hated for disagreeing. I could use a million different metaphors because it’s everything, but the second a man makes me feel bad about believing it, it’s nothing at all.
In my opinion, Taylor Swift personifies this. She went from America’s sweetheart to hated and then to arguably the most famous female artist in the world. She disagreed until everybody agreed with her. No, she didn’t solve all the world’s issues, but she’s helped so many people. Even now, she’s dating a Superbowl champion, and there are still men constantly berating her and her fans. When I spoke with another student from Franklin — a Taylor Swift fan as well — I asked him what he pictured when I said “Taylor Swift fan.” He told me, “A blonde, white girl with brown or blue eyes. And she’s nice.” He went on to talk about how her fans are made fun of, but the worst insult is “basic white girl.” We continued talking about the stereotype, and when I asked him where he thought the stereotype came from, he reacted by saying, “I think it came from when she first started touring. She was in the South, and playing in towns that are predominantly white. But now, it’s very different, and I think the narrative should change.” The shift in genre from country to pop should’ve changed the cliche, but it didn’t.
Then again, there are some male artists I will admit to making fun of. For example, Kanye West. I’ve heard people I know say before that when they pictured a Kanye West fan, they pictured a “thug.” Could the stereotypes have something to do with race? Of course they can; almost everything does. This is just another example of the terrible double standard in media that’s invisible to everyone but the people affected by it. Artists are treated differently because of their identity, whether it’s Ariana Grande being asked if she’d rather live without her makeup or her phone in a completely sexist interview, or if it’s people being racist towards Halle Bailey for being in “The Little Mermaid.” This treatment is vindictive and is often almost taboo to talk about. Maybe Kanye West is “misunderstood,” and shouldn’t be made fun of. The only thing we can do is separate the identity of the artist, the artist themselves, and the art they make. That way we can make judgments based on the right things, unlike the men hating Taylor Swift just because she’s a woman.
At the end of the day, people like what they like, and being hated for the stereotype that comes with liking a certain artist is ridiculous. Women are built up and then shoved down until they have to play into the man’s world. Somehow, Taylor isn’t playing into it, and she’s the second wealthiest self-made woman in the music industry. She does what she loves, and that’s enough. For some reason, high school students are contributing to the constant comparison of female artists in the media, and it’s exhausting. People should stop caring so much about how everyone else comes across, and worry more about the effect they have on others.
